"Go home to your family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how He has had mercy on you."
When Jesus changes your life, it is hard not to want to stay in His presence forever. The longing to be at His feet always seems like the only place to be when He has shown you mercy and redeemed you from whatever struggle or sin you have experienced in your life and this too was the thinking of the demon-possessed man that Jesus healed. He wanted to stay with Jesus and in fact, begged to go with Him but Jesus said no. Instead, He told the man to go and share with the world all that the Lord had done for the man. This too is what Jesus is asking from each of us.
We all have experienced some sort of struggle, temptation or sin that has brought us to the very edge in which we thought that there was no turning back and it can be very a dark and lonely place. If we deny that statement, then we are in sin at this very moment. "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us." 1 John 1:8 Sin comes from our own sinful nature and it draws us away from God. God is one of faithfulness and He will provide a way out when we fall into temptation or sin; we have to choose whether we will walk away or fall deeper into sin.
I found myself there a couple of years ago and the Lord changed my life. I have been saved since I was nine but had never been taught the intimacy of a relationship with Christ. I did not know what that looked like and I definitely did not understand it as part of my walk with the Lord. Two years ago, I was in the word daily. My quiet time would last for one to two hours a day and I knew a lot about the Word. I thought I was invincible toward the cunning attacks of Satan. That attitude and a lack of intimacy with Christ landed me in a place that I thought I would never find myself. You see, Satan is like a thief in the night that comes to steal, kill and destroy and will sneak right in to your life and steal your most prized possessions before you can even blink your eyes. This is just what happened to me. You see, I was reading the Word, but the Word was not in me. I knew who Jesus was but had not given Him full control of my life allowing the Holy Spirit complete reign over me and when the temptation came, I was weak and gave in to sin.
Here is the amazing part to me; I began praying daily asking for deliverance from the place in which I found myself. I knew it was wrong and every day as I read more into His word my heart was overwhelmed with conviction wanting to do right without hurting others. It was overwhelming for me but once I finally got the strength, to turn every piece of it over to Him, He brought it to fruition and it became the most incredible day and the most horrific day all wrapped up in one. I suddenly knew the feeling of being free from the bondage of sin and felt the power of the blood of Christ rushing over me. I sought forgiveness, repented, and found myself seeing Him in a different way. I finally understood what His redeeming love looked like and it began to consume me.
For months to come, the consequences of my sin followed me; the hurt it had caused to others, the ministry opportunities I missed being a part of, the false accusations of friends, the gossip and on and on. It was an unpleasant time but it was a time of growing. During that time, I fell into the arms of Jesus and allowed Him to wrap me in His love, mercy, grace, forgiveness and peace and He ALONE became my best friend and provider. I learned totally to rely on Him to meet my needs and not that of my husband or my friends. In all of that, I developed an intimacy, a love relationship with Jesus and it has forever changed my life from the inside out. I will never be the same again and though I long to sit at His feet and worship Him for all He has done in my life and carried me through, He has said, go and share all that the Lord has done for you. That is now my purpose and that alone, is why this blog was created and why it will continue. Through my sin and His redemptive grace, this blog has been to places in the world that I will probably never see and people are hearing the gospel. This is how amazing our God is. He can take our biggest mistakes and turn them into ministering masterpieces that can shine as a light in this dark world bringing Him alone honor and glory.