March 11, 2008

My fear

"God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in Him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like Him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because He first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And He has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother."

1 John 4:16-21

We all have been hurt by someone we love, trust and care for deeply. We all know the pain and struggle in dealing with forgiveness and grace towards someone. We know it takes time to heal and trust again. For me, this is an area in my life that God has had to do the most work. I was probably one of the least trusting people in this world when it came to friends and family. Funny thing is I could totally trust that stranger I met on the street. I have no issue with giving the man money on the street corner holding up a sign. He’s done nothing to hurt me and so he is easy to trust. As for the people in my life, that is a different story.

Today, I’m going to get a bit more personal and make myself vulnerable to those who read this blog. Vulnerability was one of my biggest fears and those reading this that know me, know how much I have struggled with this in my past. I have had a hard time in the past trusting women due to past hurts and I am very quick to avoid relationships with other women because of the fear of rejection and trust or lack thereof and the other issues associated with that of women relationships like gossip. The question for me is do I feel like this a sin? The answer to my question is yes.

God has commanded us to love everyone and with love comes trust. No matter who they are, what they have done or how they have hurt us, in order to walk with Him and obey Him, we have to make ourselves vulnerable. Being a believer means a life full of rejection by the people of this world. It means ridicule and hurt. I’ve come to realize that all of these things are totally worth the emotional pain when my focus is on Him and His love for me. Jesus Christ walked this earth and was ridiculed, slandered, beaten, rejected and crucified all because of His love for me. His love for me is perfect and complete and unfailing. He does not judge me and He loves me just as I am. He will never reject me or hurt me and I can totally trust Him with every part of my life. I’ve come to realize that when people reject me or what I’m doing, they are really rejecting Christ. When I give out my love and trust to others and they betray or reject it, they are not betraying or rejecting me, they are rejecting Christ in me. When we are walking with Him, and He is our reflection, we love the world through Him and not ourselves. His love is perfect and it should drive away all of fears.

As we learn to trust, we begin to fear less because God’s perfect love for us drives away that fear and we are able to find rest in His truth. We gain a confidence and boldness because we begin to recognize that God works all things out for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28) If we walk around in fear, again we are trying to control our own life but when we trust God and His love, we are giving Him the control and putting our trust in the One who loves us so perfectly.

Now that I have accepted this as truth and understand God’s love, it has opened doors for me and I find myself able to trust and I am no longer crippled by the fear of rejection. Because of this, I have made myself vulnerable and opened myself up to relationships with wonderful people who love me just as I am, flaws and all, and who are a great encouragement to me. He so blesses us and life becomes a blessing when we give God that control and allow His love to flow through us.
Written by Nicole

2 comments:

  1. Thank you anonymous for your comment. Just wanted to say that though there has been hurt in my past, it all brought God glory in the end and given me something to write about which I love to do. It's all done in worship and praise to the One who redeemed my soul and is the very lover of my soul. To Him be all the glory!!

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  2. Thanks be to God that through your life experiences you are able to proclaim Genesis 50:20.....I am so glad that God continues to bring fresh manna to your "spiritual table" that you in turn share on your blog......My prayer is that God will bless and direct you, your family and your ministry far, far beyond your wildest hopes and dreams....."I know I am loved by the King, and it makes my heart want to sing!"

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