January 9, 2008

Supermom, I'm not

I have been up since four this morning because of a sweet Spirit that woke me and began tugging at my heart. He (the Holy Spirit) woke me up at four this morning urging me to get out of the bed. For an hour, I lay in bed and argued but quickly learned that when the Holy Spirit is trying to get your attention, you listen. As I laid there and could not go back to sleep, my head was being filled with the most awesome words that the longer I fought it, the more I wanted to get up and write it. I finally conceded, grabbed my journal and began to write. Things became clear to me and I want to share with other people what God has put on my heart.

One thing I did realize that I want to share is something that people keep sending me in emails or say to me when they see me. I have five kids and people look at you in such an odd way when you have more than two. It is as if they feel sorry for you and sometimes it hurts your feelings but you realize it is because they do not understand how wonderful it is to have a large family. Anyway, when we are out sometimes people will come up and ask how we do it or tell us we are brave. They will also say things like "you have got to be the most organized and patient person in the world". Well, anyone who knows me at all is laughing at this very moment. Organization of any kind is really not me. I do not even keep a calendar. As for being patient, well let us just say my children try mine every day. What I do have, is the most powerful and wonderful thing living inside of me. It is the Holy Spirit. Just about every morning before my feet hit the floor, I lie in bed and pray that for that day, the Holy Spirit will take the throne of my life and fill me with His fruit and to be remind myself of all He has to offer, I name all nine.(love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control)

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23

Now, let me just say, there are those days when I realize I'm running late, I jump out of bed without saying that prayer and my day begins. Those are the days I wish I could do again and the days that I lose it with my husband, my kids and my friends. The days I cannot find joy in a single thing and l have no self-control over the chocolate hidden in the cabinet. I also find it very hard to love those people who I feel have wronged or hurt me. Those are the days that Satan attacks and I feel sorry for myself or get all depressed. Why would anyone want to live his or her lives everyday feeling that way? It is hard to fathom but it is reality for many.

There is nothing like having the Holy Spirit sitting on the throne of your life, and seeing the world through the eyes of Christ. Loving the unlovable, being patient and listening to the women in the middle of Target who for some reason has picked you and decided to confide in you all of the ordeals taking place in her life at the moment and even finding the joy in the huge scratch going down the side of your almost new car because your son wanted to help you get the mail. Being able to do all these things does not come from us. We are sinful, self-centered human beings who do not want to be inconvenienced by other people in this world. These things can only come from the Holy Spirit as does taking care of a home filled with five kids, a ton of laundry and dirty dishes always in the sink. There is no way possible for me ever to keep up on my own strength. My strength comes from the Lord.

"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

I have realized the importance of being ready for whatever God throws at you. This means that our door is always open but our house may not always be picked up. I have learned that when people need to be loved on they do not care about the condition of your house but the condition of your heart. That is what really matters. What really matters is having a heart that is filled with the Spirit and His Fruit. My friends have given me the nickname “Supermom” because I have five kids but the reality of it all is simply this; it is not me, It's all Him!

1 comment:

  1. Nicole - praise Him for the work he has placed on your heart! Whether you have 5 or 7 children just knowing they are entrusted to us is a blessing. His suit of armor truly prepares us for many things (especially with teenagers). I thank Him every morning for the breath He has given me to wake to do His work. (yet I still listen for that trumpet too). Keep on sister!! Peace Pat Rosenberg